Now, I Know

If you think New York City is broken, spend a week like I just did in Berlin, Germany and you won’t think, you’ll know.

There’s lots of modern history in Berlin to digest.  Preeminent philosophers and murderous dictators called Berlin their home.  It’s a city that was reduced to rubble and rebuilt into a modern metropolis.

When you visit Berlin today, you realize how debased life in New York City has become.

I want to use the subway systems in both cities to make my point. 

In New York, descending to the underground is to descend into Dante’s ninth circle of hell.  No one obeys any rules.  Pay, don’t pay, it doesn’t matter.  Come on, bring your dogs! Hey every pit bull loves a ride on the R train.  Want an ass tattoo?  Just pull up a table and drop your drawers. Have butt ink will travel! The New York City subways offer full service!

But…if you disobey the subway survival rules—oh, you do so at your own peril.

• Subway survivor rule number one
• Stand back and hug a poll on the platform or you may be pushed in front of a train and die.  
• Subway survivor rule number two
• Avoid the homeless guy laying across five seats, you never know when he’s going to let loose in a myriad of ways.  
• Subway survivor rule number three
• Don’t make eye contact with anyone, EVER, because they may end up slashing you or following you home to become your unwanted houseguest.  

Platforms are toilets.  Subway cars are homeless encampments.  All sorts of two-legged and four-legged creatures ride the rails.

Been to Penn Station lately?  It is spectacularly scary and heartbreakingly sad at the same time.  

Dirt, depravity, danger.  You know why workers don’t want to return to their office buildings?  Because their ride to work is hell on steel wheels.  It’s dehumanizing.  Who wants to expose themselves to that every day any more?

The way we live in NYC is not normal.  How do I know?  I’ve now witnessed the way people live in Berlin.

There’s no way you can make the case the reason Berlin subways are safe, spotless and serene is because Berliners have always shown love for their fellow man.  No way.

There is memorial after memorial in Berlin to attest to the depravity they enabled 80 years ago.  The memorials are downtown and in residential neighborhoods.  You cannot avoid them.  You are always reminded how Berliners turned into animals.

The German capital was the epicenter of evil.  Mass murderers and genocidal racists resided here.  The city was firebombed to its foundations and then cut by a concrete wall for 28 years.

But riding in a Berlin subway is blissful.  It’s clean, quiet, efficient.  The stations have lovely elevator music playing overhead.  No need to scan the platform for your killer or flee the subway before a naked man lunges at you.  There are no turnstiles to jump. Riders are on the honor system.  Could it be that the people are respectful because they are respected?  Nah, that’s crazy talk.

We are culturally bankrupt, disdainful of societal norms because no one knows what’s normal anymore.  But we didn’t get to this sick state overnight. 

Twelve years of a Mayor (Bloomberg) who looked down his nose at the common folk.  Who made the city safe but on the backs of black men who were stopped, questioned and frisked to an unconscionable extent.  He actually thought he could be President until he was asked a simple question during a debate.

Eight years of a Mayor (Deputzio, as I fondly call him) who looked down his nose at the uncommon folk who generate gazillions of dollars to the culture and commerce of the city.  He went into lockdown at Gracie Mansion six years before anyone ever heard of COVID.  He actually thought he could be President until he realized he needed votes.

Almost 100 days of a Mayor (Adams) who has made big promises.  Eric baby, your turn comes in next week’s blog.

Woe has been us.

It was the playwright George Bernard Shaw — not Bobby Kennedy—who was the author of the famous phrase “Some men see things as they are and ask ‘Why?’  I dream things that never were and ask, ‘Why not?’”

After a week in Berlin I have to dream there is someone out there who will make it better.  Who will step up and be a hero?  Adams? Hochul? Zeldin? Another bout of Cuomo-19?

Hello??? Is anyone there???