Gerry-THIS!

Lots of news stories recently about New York State and the chutzpah of the Democrats to try to gerrymander congressional districts in their favor.

Here’s what happened, in brief.  

The national Dems are freaking out about losing their majority in the House of Representatives.  The New York Dems, feeling invincible in their one party state said, don’t worry, we’ll draw up Congressional districts that may give us three more seats come November.

But New York’s highest court said, these redrawn districts are a joke, in fact, they’re unconstitutional.  

So, the court appointed a guy to redistrict the redistricting and he shoved it right up the Democrats’ behinds. The new districts may allow Republicans to actually gain seats!  Oh, I can already hear the Upper West Siders who breaking out their cyanide cocktails! 

More about the interesting races that are shaping up due to the new plan in a moment, but first, we pause for this history lesson.

Where did the word “gerrymander” come from?  Glad you asked!

Here’s what Smithsonian Magazine says…

Once upon a time, in the early Nineteenth Century there lived a Massachusetts governor named Elbridge Gerry.  In his day Elbridge was quite well known. He was one of the founding fathers, I’m sorry, did I say fathers?  I meant to say non-gestational, non-birthing parents.

Anyway, Elbridge Gerry was a Jeffersonian Republican party and he hated the freakin’ Federalists. 

So he and his party redrew the Massachusetts state senate districts to favor…fife and drum roll please… themselves!  Everything old is new again!

But wait, there’s more. When the Federalists met and saw the map of the weird new districts one of them said, this one here is shaped like, like a salamander! Let me draw over it and show you.  

And when he finished drawing, another gent guffawed and said, my dear sir, that’s not a salamander, that’s a gerrymander!  And everyone laughed and laughed.

Well, that same drawing made its way into the Boston Gazette with the headline “The Gerry-Mander.”  And so, Elbridge Gerry’s fifteen minutes of fame in 1812 has extended for more than two centuries.

Ok, back to our present day New York State numb-nuts.

The revised revised redistricting map creates some interesting matchups. 

Jerry Nadler vs Carolyn Maloney in Manhattan.  Two septuagenarian liberals who thought they had jobs for life feeding at the public trough. If they run against each other they will have to actually work to win votes instead of automatically renewing their two year ticket on the Metroliner. Boo hoo.

And thanks to the new plan, look who may luck out with a job.  Our old pal Bill de Putzio.

By combining the aforesaid Nadler-Maloney district, it left the 10th CD wide open, covering lower Manhattan, Park Slope and Borough Park Brooklyn.

So Billy boy, never one to miss the opportunity to collect a salary from the taxpayers, is running for that congressional seat. 

In a crowded contest he could pull off a win.  Remember how he did it the first time he ran for mayor?  

Here’s how I look at it.  IF he gets elected, Bill de Dopeeo will be one of 435 Congress beings, both chest feeders and non-chest feeders.  

I mean, how much damage could he do?  Break a treadmill in the Congressional gym?  Forget to show up for a hearing?  Take a couple of hits on a bong with Chirlane in the cloakroom?  Better that he be a do-nothing in Congress then get a job that really counts.

I have very little sympathy for the Democrats.  They thought they had all the power. They thought we, the voters, could be hoodwinked.  They made a brazen attempt to rig the elections in their favor (for real, not the made up rigging talk spewing out Trumpelstilskin land where the menace of Mar-a-Lago lives).  They tried to pull a fast one on us and it blew up in their faces .

I think Congress humans, both cisgender and transgender, should be term-limited.   I don’t want them to have jobs for life.  They lose sight of who pays their salaries.  They’re supposed serve at our pleasure, not to pleasure themselves.

The New York State Democrats cooked up a big sausage pizza, tried to eat all eight slices and rid New York of any remaining hope of being a two party state. The court’s plan isn’t perfect but it’s better than what the cynical Dems tried to foist upon us. 

What the Democrats tried to do in New York didn’t look like a salamander but it was very, very reptilian.  Maybe it looked like a hyena, laughing at all of us.  Hey assholes, look who’s laughing now.