The Mayor’s Big Brass Balls

On January 1, Eric Adams was sworn in as the 110th mayor in the history of the City of New York. He raised his right hand and solemnly swore to faithfully discharge the duties of the office of the Mayor of the City of New York. He took over for a guy whose incompetence, detachment and laziness, complicit with the New York City Council and the New York State Legislature, have plunged this great metropolis into a really scary place to live.

Take a walk, as I did up from Penn Station through Times Square onward to the Upper West Side. Here’s what you will see: human beings living and defecating on the sidewalks and in the subway. (BTW, you see a helluva lot more homeless on the subways than you do cops, but that’s for another time). These unfortunate HUMAN BEINGS are neglected, dirty, sometimes violent and in desperate need of help.

Keep walking and you will see an open air drug market…I kid you not, tables set up under a stretch of ubiquitous scaffolding on Seventh Avenue and guys selling weed. They have a pretty good inventory, I must say. And those that aren’t seated are selling on the street corners.

Walk north and count the number of vacant stores. One after one after another. Magnets for garbage and vagrancy. Blights on neighborhoods. It ain’t all because of Covid. Ever speak to small business owners in this city? You’ll come away wondering why anyone would/could open a store here.

And something we’ve just learned to live with…garbage everywhere. Strewn on the sidewalks and in the gutters. Ever been to Paris, Toronto, Tokyo? The streets are SPOTLESS. Not here!

New York City 2022…a place where crime and chaos reign. A place where shootings, murders and car thefts have nearly doubled and where murder is up 50% since 2019. A place where the inmates run Rikers Island. A place where cars slalom with e-bikes, motorized skate boards, scooters, unicyles, rickshaws, whatever. (Footnote-it’s always the motorists’ fault).

A place where no one gives a shit about nuthin’.

On January 1, Eric Adams inherited Bill Dedopeo’s mess. There is a grace period for the new Mayor Adams and his administration. Only an idiot would want him to fail. Wanna give him 100 days? Ok, that seems fair. He comes into office with lots of promise. We all want to keep hope alive.

But here’s the thing…it’s much easier to campaign than it is to govern.

My advice to Hizzoner is to hit the ground running…no not running…racing! The people in this city need to SEE change, not just hear about it. Lift our lives by making us feel safe when we go for a walk in the evening, or stand on a platform waiting for a subway. Lift our Covid-crushed spirits by ENFORCING LAWS that affect the quality of our lives. Other mayors did it, you can too Mayor Adams.

Don’t do what Mayor McCheese did. He buried his head in the sand and said there was no homeless problem. That guy bathing in the fountain at Columbus Circle??? Nope, nothing to be concerned about. All the gun violence, the tragic loss of innocent lives??? I have a bright idea! Let’s disband the NYPD’s Anti-Crime Unit. NYC public schools not doing a good job educating our kids??? I got this! Let’s get rid of the Gifted and Talented program.

Mr. Adams, you will need brass balls the size of Bensonhurst to bend this city to your will. Go buy those balls (I think I saw them for sale in Times Square next to the kush). You can do it, you MUST do it!

Sir, if you can make us feel good again about our post-Deputzio city you will be an f-ing rock star…being booked and re-booked on every national cable news show.

Like the lyrics from the rock opera Tommy said: “see me, feel me, touch me, heal me.” That’s what New Yorkers need right now, this very instant. A Mayor who sees, feels and touches the hearts and minds of the good, hard-working, law-abiding, tax-paying citizens of his city and who helps heal his fractured town.

Mr. Mayor, I’m going to give you a few months, but I’m going to take my uptown walk again and let you know how’re you doin’.

Friend W/o Benefits

January 2022

3 thoughts on “The Mayor’s Big Brass Balls”

  1. It’s a sad state (city) of affairs but I don’t expect things to change without reversing “bail reform” and de-Bragg-ing. Love your blog.

  2. If Black Lives Matter so much, why do the good Manhattan liberals think it is right of the oppressed to sleep and do other body functions all over the sidewalks. Probably because they, the “progressives,” pardon the expression, are removed from the bedlam that is now NYC; they are remote workers who get their needs delivered by the “new slavery.” The progressive is a liberal in his ivory apartment who has not yet been harassed physically or by fear of what is now common on the streets and empty subways.

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