Another painful week in the battle for the soul of New York.  

We buried another cop, murdered by a POS who basically kept a machine gun in his bedroom.

And new crime statistics came out. They are bleak.

 Major crimes are up 38 percent so far this year.  Although there was a small decrease in murders, virtually every other category tracked by the NYPD was up.  And that’s just crimes that are reported.  Get a load of these stats:

Car theft up about 93%

Grand larceny up 57%

Burglary up 6%

Felony Assault up about 12%

Robbery up 23%

Rape up 27%

Hate Crimes up 79%

Shooting Incidents up 32%

Transit System Crime up 70%

No worries.  President Biden came to town on Thursday to tell everyone he was against illegal guns.  Both Mayor Eric Adams and Governor Kathy Hochul basked in what’s left of his aura.

The very next day on Friday, surprise, surprise, Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg revised his landmark memo (that you can read in full on another page in this blog) that basically told prosecutors to twiddle their thumbs in all but the most serious crimes.

Now Bragg says that memo has been “a source of confusion, rather than clarity” and re-empowered prosecutors to do their jobs.  

Bragg’s flip flop comes after a private meeting with Governor Hochul.  

Did the conversation go something like this?

Hochul:  Hi Alvin.

Bragg: Hi Kath.

Hochul: Alvin, you’ve made my life real complicated with that memo you issued on like the first day you took office.

Bragg: How so?

Hochul: Alv, you’re new to this political game, so let me tell you how it’s played.  The luckiest day of my life was when the Cuomo fled Albany.  Up until then, my most important job each day as Lieutenant Governor was to put a mirror under my nose every morning to make sure I was breathing.

Bragg: (chuckle)

Hochul:  Yeah, real funny.  So now I have a chance to make it on my own and you’re not helping.

Bragg: Moi???

Hochul: To paraphrase Bill Clinton, it’s the crime thing, stupid.  If you haven’t noticed, it’s out of control in the city where I need the most votes.  (Refer back please to the above stats).  I have a guy running against me, Tom Suozzi, who’s banging me over the head on crime and says if he’s elected he’ll shit-can you.  

Bragg: Can he really do that?

Hochul:  Uh, yeah.  And to make it even more complicated, he’s pals with Eric Adams.  To be very clear A.B., I need the support of Adams and his base. If I don’t win over moderate Black and Latino voters in the Five Boroughs I’ll be shuffling back to Buffalo before you can say Eliot Spitzer.  Capish?

Bragg:  I see!!!

Hochul: Do you?  Eric knows his future depends on getting crime under control.  He knows he can’t do it alone and needs a Governor’s support to battle that pathetic pair in the state legislature, Heastie and Stewart-Cousins.  I must take the crime issue out of Suozzi’s hands and make sure Eric has no choice but to give me his blessing, otherwise I will be as nasty as soft tofu to vegan Eric’s voters.

Bragg:  Ahhh…I’m getting the picture.

Hochul: Hmmm…Alvino, you don’t want Suozzi as Governor as much as I don’t.  It’s in both our best interests that you walk back what you wrote. 

Bragg: I get why it’s in your best interest but why do I give a crap?

Hochul: Because, my dear fellow, I won’t wait for the election.  I will fire your ass right now!

And then the revised memo came out.

Of course, this is all fiction, conjured up from my warped imagination. 🙂

7 thoughts on “Crime Time Convo?”

  1. That’s probably how the conversation went. It’s sinister. This is how’s the Dems operate. Just look who’s running the major US cities & the crime rates.
    Braggs “clarification ” at Hochul’s urging, is to the criminals, “be more discreet in your criminality”. Scarry.

    1. Just so we are factually accurate: political party is irrelevant here: the murder rate has likewise gone up in Tulsa and Oklahoma City, Oklahoma; in Fort Worth, Texas; in Fresno, California; and in Miami, Florida. Every one of those cities is run by a Republican mayor and overseen by a Republican governor.
      Jacksonville, Florida, is known as the “murder capital” of the Sunshine State — and has had a Republican mayor for the past six years. Fort Worth survived its most violent year in the past quarter century in 2020, with a murder rate that nearly doubled from the previous year. Betsy Price has been the city’s Republican mayor for the past 10 years.

  2. To answer Harris, who on the surface makes sense: I don’t think most criminals know or care if their mayor or governor is Republican or Democrat; They just think they can get away with it in our current society.

  3. In response to Harris, who makes a good point: I doubt most criminals know or care if the mayor or governor is Democrat or Republican. They act because they think they can get away with it in our current society.

  4. Harris makes a good point. However, one must consider that criminals probably don’t know, and certainly don’t care, if the local major or governor is a Democrat or a Republican. They act because they think they can get away with it. Our current society says its OK in San Francisco, LA, NY, and certainly Minneapolis and Chicago. So why not were they are ? The media won’t call them the predatory dregs that they are. If caught or shot, the “progressives” paint the criminal as the martyr ( with or without a gun). Our true sense of justice needs reactivation. It is not OK to continue the status quo just because the criminals were attacking someone else.

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